Tim Stead on mindfulness

1. How has mindfulness improved your overall health?

The most significant thing that happened to me when I first went on a course was that it transformed how I managed stress in my busy, demanding and so often rather unpredictable life as a Vicar. There are many ways people manage stress these days but few that involve paying attention to your own inner experience, yet this is what mindfulness helped me with and through this I began to find the inner stresses of a Vicar's life much more manageable.

2. How can the principles of mindfulness help strengthen our relationships?

The heart of mindfulness is creating space for awareness. We tend to react so automatically in our relationships whether it is with a child, a partner or a parent. Someone says something or does something and I react in the way I have always done - which often turns out not to be very helpfully. Mindfulness practice trains us to take a moment, to breathe, to become aware of what is going on inside and then perhaps - sometimes - finding a way to respond differently: responding thoughtfully rather than reacting compulsively. My wife was asked once what difference mindfulness had made to me and she said I had become less defensive. This is really helpful in any relationship.

3. Has mindfulness helped you to be kinder to yourself?

Yes, it certainly has. Many of us are locked into the belief that we need to put ourselves last and that self-kindness is just selfish. Often we are not even aware that that is how we are thinking. So, taking time to start noticing those harsh inner voices can really help to uncover them for what they are and help us to see that kindness to self will always be the basis for kindness to others. We tend, instinctively to treat others in the same way we treat ourselves. Realising this has helped me to treat myself better.

4. Do you use mindfulness practices when writing can feel challenging?

Most of my writing so far has been about mindfulness so it sort of all flows out of my practising it really. But certainly there have been blocks and these are usually because I am over thinking something rather than letting it flow. When these happen the best thing is to walk away from the desk and listen to the birds - or watch the birds - or whatever is nearby. What this does is help me reconnect with the moment and my experience in the here and now - which, of course, is where all good creative writing comes from. Sometimes it takes a while. But this is basically what I do.

5. What’s the most useful advice about mindfulness that you have ever received?

Just do it! Just get on and practice just for the sake of it with no agenda, no goal, no hope of healing, enlightenment or whatever. Just do it. This is when it seems to have most effect - and is also most delightful.