The New Rules of Social Media

1 Social media curfew
First up, I want to suggest a self-imposed social media curfew every night. Sounds crazy – right? But nobody ever made a difference by being like everyone else! A social media cut-off every night will allow you to take a break from the pressures of inaccurate comparison and be content with who you are. It will also give you time away from the blue light that emanates from your phone screen tricking your brain into thinking it’s daytime, enabling you to get better sleep. That’s why I’d suggest you set your personal curfew at least a full hour before you go to bed, after which you will not check your socials or use your phone at all. At first this was a discipline for me, now it’s a joy. I feel a tangible sense of relief when I finally get to put my phone on aeroplane mode and shut down for the night. As my phone goes off, my senses come alive. I breathe more deeply and walk more slowly. What a gift! Go on, give it a try. It will be really hard at first, but you’ll be glad you did in the end.

2 Social media Sabbath
If you thought that was crazy, try this: a whole 24-hour period without using social media every week. The principle of the Sabbath has been practised by God’s people for thousands of years, and I believe this same principle can be applied to the much more modern phenomenon of social media. This extended period of rest from the constant noise and ceaseless digital connection of social media will create an opportunity for you to be totally present to yourself, to your thoughts, to others and to God. This has been my practice for a number of years now and I cannot overemphasize how good it has been for me. It has helped me to mentally rest in a deeper and fuller way. It is a life-giving practice that I would encourage every reader to go for.

3 Turn off notifications
Make your phone your servant not your master by turning your notifications off so that it only has your attention when you need it, not when it needs you. This will enable you to be more present to the moment, more available to the people around you, and more able to focus on the important tasks that you really want to give your time to.

4 Got a moment? Count to ten
Psychologists are suggesting that, just as pianists wire into their muscle memory how to play a chord through multiple repetitions, we have wired our muscle memory to automatically reach for the phone in our pocket when even the briefest moment of downtime presents itself. It has literally become a reflex. So before reaching for your phone, try counting slowly to ten. Make yourself present to what God is doing and saying in the moment, ensuring that you are only reaching for your phone out of intention rather than habit.

5 Think before you post
We’ve all had that experience of firing something up online in the heat of the moment that in the cold light of day we lived to regret. We can laugh, but misguided Tweets and thoughtless Snaps regularly lead to hurt, embarrassment and damaged relationships. That’s why I’m encouraging you to take a moment to consider the following questions before posting:

Am I seeking affirmation?
When you get a ‘like’ it releases a chemical called dopamine, which controls the pleasure systems in your brain. The more likes we get, the better we feel about ourselves, and it’s highly addictive. So we can fall into the trap of posting the kind of things that we know are going to get us likes. We crave likes because they make us feel loved. But if we are posting to gain affirmation, our personal sense of self- worth becomes rooted in what others think of us, rather than who God says we are – and that never ends well. So, before you post, ask, ‘Am I posting this to gain affirmation?’

Am I boasting?
Unless you are an out-of-control narcissist, you would never walk up to someone and say, ‘Can I just tell you about how incredibly successful I am?’ And yet, often our social feeds are screaming just that! But boasting is boasting whether it’s in person or on Insta. So, before you post, check your motives and ask yourself, ‘Am I just trying to make myself look good?’

Is it kind?
Social media is an easy place to vent. When we’re filled with pent-up frustration, the easiest thing to do is pull our phones from our pock- ets and let it all out. But social media should not be a live feed of your inner monologue. The apostle Paul encourages us, ‘Let your conversation be always full of grace’ (Colossians 4.6), and we would do well to apply that same principle to our use of social media. So, never, ever post when you’re angry – it’s always a bad idea. Before venting online, pause for a minute and ask, ‘Is it kind?’

Social media is a great tool if we use it right. So, apply these new rules to your digital world and you won’t go far wrong. Happy posting!