Simple Comforts

Life is messy, sometimes, isn’t it? Our bodies get injured, our hearts broken, our unrealised hopes and dreams leave us disappointed. Few of us can cope with times of difficulty without help, whether practical or emotional, and the saying, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed,’ begins to ring true.

Perhaps, when we see a loved one struggling, we hold back from offering help for fear of offending them or making it worse by saying or doing the wrong thing. We might feel it’s safer all round to stay away, only to find that – with the best of intentions – even more harm has been done by our absence. In the Message Translation, we read in 2 Cor 1:4, ‘God comes alongside us when we go through hard times and, before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.’ Note that the word ‘comfort’ used in other translations is almost down-graded to a simple ‘being there for someone’; because that’s all it takes, really, to help when life hurts: just be there.

Miscarriage, for example, is often a lonely, misunderstood experience and not many women have those around them who will consistently offer a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. In my book, Too Soon: a mother’s journey through miscarriage, I set out to be that comforting friend. I’ve been there myself, more than once, and long for other women not to have to suffer alone.

Being a comforter in times of trouble isn’t a case of having all the answers or being able to remove the problem, but about being with someone while they are hurting. Sometimes, that’s all they need.