Connection and Compassion at Christmastime

The holidays can be particularly hard for people who are in recovery from addiction. Christopher Dines considers ways that we can help ourselves and others during the holiday season, especially when we look to prevent relapse. 


For people recovering from drug addiction the idea of staying clean this Christmas and New Year Eve can seem an impossible prospect.

Thankfully there are many ways to help prevent a relapse this Christmas and therefore enhance emotional and spiritual wellness. Seeing that addiction thrives in isolation, connecting with others in recovery through warm-hearted fellowship will certainly leave an imprint of love and kindness on the human heart. A drug addict can feel validated and appreciated for the first time in years as a result of joining a non-shaming support group. Meeting up with a group of fellow travellers for a cup of tea before attending a recovery support group (for example, a 12-step meeting) will tap into an ancient human need: to realise harmonious social cohesion.

While many recovering addicts can enjoy spending time with loved ones over the Christmas period, some will not feel safe or will be triggered being among family members. For addicts who struggle with family, connecting with non-assuming friends can certainly soothe emotional wounds. If there isn’t an option to meet with friends, offering ones time and energy to a cause this Christmas is a wonderful way to engage with people from all walks of life. For example, offering to help cook a meal on Christmas Day for the homeless can be incredibly rewarding. There are hundreds of such gatherings all over the UK readily welcoming volunteers to assist the homeless and drug addicts sleeping rough.

In addition to immersing oneself in fellowship and a weekly support group, for those addicted to alcohol, cocaine, heroin, crack cocaine, cannabis etc., it can feel far less daunting to break the often endless-seeming festive period down into 24 hour or even hourly intervals. In other words, approaching recovery one day at a time is less intimidating. This practical approach has worked for millions of recovering addicts all over the world since the 1940s. The key thing to remember is to be emotionally present today. You cannot change what happened yesterday and tomorrow is an unknown quantity. You can however, despite it often seeming impossible, stay clean today.

In my forthcoming book Drug Addiction Recovery, I have written, “Thankfully, when we anchor ourselves in the moment we can greatly reduce stress. Living one day at a time releases everyday pressures. Living one day at a time does not mean that we neglect planning or preparing for future events. It simply means that we anchor ourselves in the present day — thus the saying “just for today”. To go a step further, it is even more fruitful to anchor ourselves in the present moment. When we approach the day with an awareness of “one day at a time, one moment at a time”, everyday life becomes more manageable. The reality, of course, is that we only ever have this moment. Therefore, if we are grounded in the present, we are centred in reality.”

Here are some questions to consider regarding staying clean and enhancing emotional wellness this Christmas. What can you do to stay sober today? How can you reduce stress today? Have you considered attending a recovery support group (a 12-step meeting or group therapy etc.)? Have you considered connecting with nature and putting time aside to meditate? Do you have a support network in place just in case you need to call someone for emotional support and encouragement?

We can still make plans and reflect while emotionally living in the day. We can still look forward to that special trip away or seeing loved ones next year but we need to realize that the present day is where life meets us – the here and now.

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