Lesson 90: Be Nice

LESSON 90
Be nice

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour.
—Ephesians 4.31 (NLT)

I once read this analysis of social media: Instagram is a show-off, Twitter is bitchy and Facebook is dumb. It’s harsh but as a frequent Twitter user, I can agree with its assigned characteristic. While the premise for Facebook is on connecting with friends, on Twitter, you can have a ‘conversation’ with literally anyone without having liked or followed them. It baffles me when users actively follow people they disagree with just so they can shut down every tweet they post, and while there are plenty of users who support each other, there are also plenty who do the opposite with a tone that is seriously unkind. This scripture is from a letter written to the Church in Ephesus by Paul. The heading of this section in my NLT Bible reads: ‘Living as children of Light’. Paul encourages believers to stand out from the Gentiles who have ‘closed their minds against God’ and who ‘eagerly practice every kind of impurity’ (vv. 18, 19). He tells them to ‘let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy.’ (vv. 23–24). Because I love words and admire those who use them cleverly, I forget that quick-wittedness can easily slip into bitchy undertones, and the warning against using ‘harsh words and slander’ in verse 31 really convicted me. Social media has been blamed for a lot of ill mental health and bullying and has been known to contribute to suicide. I often find myself close to pledging my allegiance to a bitchy comment or meme with the simple click on the heart icon, without even thinking about how the original poster will feel; it can be easy to jump on the bandwagon and get involved. But when I read verse 30, ‘And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live,’ I remembered that God does not just want us to be ‘good’; he calls us to be holy (2 Timothy 1.9), and that means refusing to engage in behaviour that can negatively impact another’s mental health and to instead seek the kind of life that mirrors him.

What do you do when life hasn’t turned out the way you expected?

When it feels like everyone else has it together but you’re still figuring it out?

And if God is meant to be your guide, why do you feel so lost?

Tola Doll Fisher has asked these questions countless times and still doesn’t have the answers. But as she explains in this series of 100 ‘life lessons’ maybe that’s okay…

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