Alexa Tewkesbury's 3 wishes for all children

‘Children are the future’. That’s what we’re told, isn’t it? And they are. They’ll grow up and take on the responsibilities we shoulder now; make the decisions we currently make; and shape the society we will (hopefully) inhabit in the years to come. In one sense, our future as adults will be in their hands.

So doesn’t that also give us a huge responsibility to be their future too? What they learn, they learn from us now, from the things we say and the way we behave and think; from the choices we make; from our attitudes towards them, towards each other, towards global and environmental issues, towards the refugee, towards the homeless person on the street.

If we continually get the model wrong, what does that say for our future? More importantly, what does it say for theirs?

Here are three things that I wish for today’s children:

1. A childhood without pressure

The ‘it’s all about you’ trend is hard to escape. From a very young age in Western society it seems, children are told they can be anything. They can do anything. And though the intention behind it might be good, the reality is that thinking like that can exert huge pressure.

If children are constantly told they should be reaching for the stars and they keep missing, isn’t that going to engender a feeling of failure? Yes, we should encourage them, help them to create goals for themselves and make plans to achieve those goals. We should inspire them to see themselves as worthwhile, valuable, with something important and positive to contribute. But wouldn’t it be better if that was done on a more individualistic basis – one that appreciates the person for who they are, for their unique gifts and abilities, rather than a blanket ‘you can do anything you want’ approach?

For us adults to gain that individualistic insight means spending time with the children in our lives; getting to know and understand them. Isn’t that worth more than a plaque proclaiming, ‘Reach for the sky – it’s yours for the taking’, when actually that might be pushing it just a little bit?

2. A childhood free from prejudice

‘Inclusion’ is something of a buzzword these days. We need to be inclusive of people with disabilities; inclusive of other races; inclusive of different cultures and religions; gender inclusive. Oh, yes – inclusion is all the rage.

Except that it isn’t.

If inclusion really was all the rage, there’d be no need for it. Our default setting would be to be inclusive. It would be our natural response without being prompted. The unnatural behaviour would be to be prejudiced.

I’d love to see children able to grow up free from prejudice, because prejudice of any sort had never been planted in their hearts in the first place. And that’s down to us – the adults of the here and now. If our mentality could be truly and spontaneously inclusive, wouldn’t that be a treasure to pass on to our children – to help shape their futures?

3. A childhood free from hunger

Years ago, when I worked in a pre-school, something that underpinned each day with those small children was our call to them to share. Share toys, share games, share books – share friends. If we could teach the ability to share, we could avoid all manner of tantrums, tears and ear-piercing screams, and everyone’s lives (perhaps especially ours as the play leaders) could be that little bit nicer.

I don’t understand all the politics. I just know that, on the one side, there’s plenty and on the other, there’s not enough. And my simplistic brain insists on telling me that, surely if we who have plenty share more and hog less, the world would be a better – a kinder – place.

No child on the planet should be starving. We don’t ask to be born, do we? We just arrive. How I wish children could arrive with the certainty that, at the very, very, very least, they wouldn’t struggle for life through lack of food.

There’s a saying – ‘let’s be the change we want to see’. Children not only need good role models, they deserve them. They deserve to be taught how to build a caring, giving, peaceful society; a place where they will be safe and where, in time, their own children will be safe too.

Let’s try to sow the change we want to see into their lives. Children are our collective responsibility. Which may sound daunting but is actually quite a privilege.