All the Times You Were Not There
A memoir of family, failure and faith from London's East End
A heartfelt memoir of a family in 1980s East End London facing addiction, infidelity and loss, who ultimately find renewed life in Jesus.
In stock
ISBN-13
9780281091683-grouped
From £10.99
Emma Fowle is deputy editor of Premier Christianity and editor of Voice of Hope, Premier's quarterly devotional magazine. Emma lives in Cornwall with her husband and two teenage daughters. She loves to read, swim in the sea, play netball and lift weights with her dad.
"This is a memoir unlike anything I have read before - deception and sorrow, reconciliation and forgiveness, all lyrically woven through Emma's vulnerability and her masterful ability to lead us back to the beauty of the Gospel."
'I wept my way through Emma's story, having walked a road of redemption with my own dad. She writes with tenderness, honesty, humour and grace. The humanness and pain are not glossed over or neatly tied up - they are felt in the ache and witnessed in the slow, steady repair that only God can bring. This is a story for anyone who has ever wondered if hope could reach the hardest places. It can. And it does.'
'Beautifully written. Honest and raw. Heartbreaking, yet full of hope. If you've ever wondered where God is when life falls apart, this book will speak straight to you. A story of grace that weaves broken threads into something beautiful, redemptive and lifegiving. Unflinching and brimming with grace.'
'This memoir packs an emotional punch as you experience family breakdown through the eyes of a teenager. Emma's story contains plenty of heartbreak, but it also demonstrates that nothing is beyond God's ability to heal and restore. Brilliantly written and full of lighter moments, too. It's the best book I've read all year.'
'I love a great story. If you do too, I feel almost certain you will fall in love with this book as much as I have. Emma’s storytelling is vivid and deeply human, and she holds the truths of both pain and hope with a sense of courage that made me feel a bravery rise up in me. In these pages she invites us to sit with the complexity of family, faith and forgiveness - honouring the ways our past shapes us without rushing to easy answers or platitudes, with equal parts grit and grace. This is a beautifully written, tender exploration of loss, love, generational resilience and the God who meets us in all of it.'
'There are two types of stories that move me more than any other: those about dads and those about redemption. This is both. All The Times You Were Not There is a painful and gritty journey with enough raw honesty to keep you wincing, enough nineties nostalgia to keep you reminiscing, and just enough hope to believe it might all end well. Emma is an outstanding writer who leads you by the hand through her biography and situates you beside her in the living rooms, bowling alleys and weightlifting gyms of her life. But most importantly, this book is about hope when all seems lost and the resurrection of impossible circumstances.'
'This is a beautiful and courageous memoir; a story of one family that manages to shine a light on the complexity of all families. Emma writes with searing honesty and a clarity that makes this book unputdownable. This story of faith and fracture will be a breath of fresh air and a healing, redemptive balm to many.'
'I read Emma's brilliant memoir almost in one sitting. It's real, raw, honest and vulnerable - a powerful story of family and redemption. My eyes welled up in so many places as I felt the pain of infidelity and drug abuse she describes, and I marvelled at the goodness and power of God who can make something beautiful out of something so broken. This book is full of hope and unputdownable!'
'An honest, gritty masterpiece that speaks to both the devastation that addiction brings to a family and the transforming, miraculous hope of a surrendered life of faith. Emma recounts the life of her younger self with incredible detail, and we see the East End world she grew up in with great clarity. This is an unmissable, no-holdsbarred memoir of redemption against all the odds. I couldn't put it down.'
About
In 1980s East London, families lived by an unspoken code. You can throw a punch to make a point, stolen goods make financial sense, and a few too many beers were par for the course. But you never abandon your family.
That was Emma Fowle's father's greatest mistake.
A champion powerlifter with a dangerous appetite for risk, he dragged his family into a world of steroids, cocaine, illegal raves, debt collecting, fraud and infidelity. Then, one day, he simply walked out - leaving behind a trail of chaos and questions that would take decades to untangle.
Set against the gritty backdrop of London's East End, All the Times You Were Not There is a raw and redemptive memoir about the cost of broken promises and the unexpected grace that can transform even the most fractured family story.
Through her Christian faith, Emma learns to reframe her past: not as a story of failure, but of survival, forgiveness and hope. With unflinching honesty and tender insight, she writes about what it means to grow up searching for love in the ruins and to find redemption where you least expect it.
For readers of Cathy Rentzenbrink, Dani Shapiro, and Lemn Sissay, this is a story about addiction, absence, and the long road home, told with warmth, courage and astonishing grace.
That was Emma Fowle's father's greatest mistake.
A champion powerlifter with a dangerous appetite for risk, he dragged his family into a world of steroids, cocaine, illegal raves, debt collecting, fraud and infidelity. Then, one day, he simply walked out - leaving behind a trail of chaos and questions that would take decades to untangle.
Set against the gritty backdrop of London's East End, All the Times You Were Not There is a raw and redemptive memoir about the cost of broken promises and the unexpected grace that can transform even the most fractured family story.
Through her Christian faith, Emma learns to reframe her past: not as a story of failure, but of survival, forgiveness and hope. With unflinching honesty and tender insight, she writes about what it means to grow up searching for love in the ruins and to find redemption where you least expect it.
For readers of Cathy Rentzenbrink, Dani Shapiro, and Lemn Sissay, this is a story about addiction, absence, and the long road home, told with warmth, courage and astonishing grace.
Author
Emma Fowle is deputy editor of Premier Christianity and editor of Voice of Hope, Premier's quarterly devotional magazine. Emma lives in Cornwall with her husband and two teenage daughters. She loves to read, swim in the sea, play netball and lift weights with her dad.
Reviews
"This is a memoir unlike anything I have read before - deception and sorrow, reconciliation and forgiveness, all lyrically woven through Emma's vulnerability and her masterful ability to lead us back to the beauty of the Gospel."
'I wept my way through Emma's story, having walked a road of redemption with my own dad. She writes with tenderness, honesty, humour and grace. The humanness and pain are not glossed over or neatly tied up - they are felt in the ache and witnessed in the slow, steady repair that only God can bring. This is a story for anyone who has ever wondered if hope could reach the hardest places. It can. And it does.'
'Beautifully written. Honest and raw. Heartbreaking, yet full of hope. If you've ever wondered where God is when life falls apart, this book will speak straight to you. A story of grace that weaves broken threads into something beautiful, redemptive and lifegiving. Unflinching and brimming with grace.'
'This memoir packs an emotional punch as you experience family breakdown through the eyes of a teenager. Emma's story contains plenty of heartbreak, but it also demonstrates that nothing is beyond God's ability to heal and restore. Brilliantly written and full of lighter moments, too. It's the best book I've read all year.'
'I love a great story. If you do too, I feel almost certain you will fall in love with this book as much as I have. Emma’s storytelling is vivid and deeply human, and she holds the truths of both pain and hope with a sense of courage that made me feel a bravery rise up in me. In these pages she invites us to sit with the complexity of family, faith and forgiveness - honouring the ways our past shapes us without rushing to easy answers or platitudes, with equal parts grit and grace. This is a beautifully written, tender exploration of loss, love, generational resilience and the God who meets us in all of it.'
'There are two types of stories that move me more than any other: those about dads and those about redemption. This is both. All The Times You Were Not There is a painful and gritty journey with enough raw honesty to keep you wincing, enough nineties nostalgia to keep you reminiscing, and just enough hope to believe it might all end well. Emma is an outstanding writer who leads you by the hand through her biography and situates you beside her in the living rooms, bowling alleys and weightlifting gyms of her life. But most importantly, this book is about hope when all seems lost and the resurrection of impossible circumstances.'
'This is a beautiful and courageous memoir; a story of one family that manages to shine a light on the complexity of all families. Emma writes with searing honesty and a clarity that makes this book unputdownable. This story of faith and fracture will be a breath of fresh air and a healing, redemptive balm to many.'
'I read Emma's brilliant memoir almost in one sitting. It's real, raw, honest and vulnerable - a powerful story of family and redemption. My eyes welled up in so many places as I felt the pain of infidelity and drug abuse she describes, and I marvelled at the goodness and power of God who can make something beautiful out of something so broken. This book is full of hope and unputdownable!'
'An honest, gritty masterpiece that speaks to both the devastation that addiction brings to a family and the transforming, miraculous hope of a surrendered life of faith. Emma recounts the life of her younger self with incredible detail, and we see the East End world she grew up in with great clarity. This is an unmissable, no-holdsbarred memoir of redemption against all the odds. I couldn't put it down.'
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That was Emma Fowle's father's greatest mistake.
A champion powerlifter with a dangerous appetite for risk, he dragged his family into a world of steroids, cocaine, illegal raves, debt collecting, fraud and infidelity. Then, one day, he simply walked out - leaving behind a trail of chaos and questions that would take decades to untangle.
Set against the gritty backdrop of London's East End, All the Times You Were Not There is a raw and redemptive memoir about the cost of broken promises and the unexpected grace that can transform even the most fractured family story.
Through her Christian faith, Emma learns to reframe her past: not as a story of failure, but of survival, forgiveness and hope. With unflinching honesty and tender insight, she writes about what it means to grow up searching for love in the ruins and to find redemption where you least expect it.
For readers of Cathy Rentzenbrink, Dani Shapiro, and Lemn Sissay, this is a story about addiction, absence, and the long road home, told with warmth, courage and astonishing grace.